Never Quit

     I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about tonight, but as I sat here listening to “Secrets” by One Republic, I remembered why I started. It was part of a dream I had. I’m not going to tell you the dream, maybe if you are lucky I’ll tell you after it happens. That’s faith. Thirteen years worth, I’ve been chasing this dream. I actually had it within my grasp at one time. What happened you ask? Fear.

    It was about 8 years ago. My life was a whirlwind and I needed a change in my life. Everyone thought I had lost my mind. But I knew what I was searching for, and I wouldn’t stop until I found it. One day it fell into my lap. I couldn’t believe that what I was searching for was right there. I took a chance, but didn’t really have a plan. That really had never come up and I was scared. Boy, was I scared. I felt I was way out of my league. Almost like I was a fake. 

    I kept pushing though, even though it drove me crazy that I wasn’t sure how to keep moving forward. Plus, I had a lot of people in my ear. That was probably the hardest thing to tune out. I know they meant well, but they didn’t really understand what I was going through. I suspect some wanted me to fail also. But, I had a lot of self sabotage. Feelings of doubt crept up all the time. I know, I know, it’s that one thing you wanted, how could you give it up? That’s part of the reason I’m here writing. You see I never gave up hope, even when I seemed to have gave up. Now, I’m having to try for it again, not knowing if I can get back to what I want. What’s even funnier is the fact that I started writing a novel about this story. After I walked away I was so distraught that I wrote a quick ending just to justify all of it. Lately, I started writing a truer ending. Maybe one day you will be able to read it.

    What did I learn the most from this situation? Never give up on what you want most. Don’t let fear guide your steps, because in the end, you will end up hating yourself. Since then my life has been a shell of what it was. Now, I’m having to learn to face my fears all over again and give my life direction. It’s easier to face fear when you have been doing it for some time. And you may not get a second chance. Even in my story, there are no guarantees that I will have a second chance, but as long as I keep my faith that I may get a second chance. Miracles happen everyday. 

    Tonight, I leave you with this. Never quit, even when things seem hopeless. We never know how long we will be here and if we will get another chance. Keep pushing, life is going to make it harder as you go, but you can make it. 

I hope all your dreams come true and if you will leave a comment.

Thank you